Growth Beyond Obstacles

Today, I am celebrating a milestone that I once thought was impossible: completing my bachelor’s degree in Leadership at Life Pacific University. This achievement isn’t just about earning a degree—it’s about surviving, healing, and persevering through challenges that would have broken the person I used to be.

Finishing this chapter of my academic journey has been deeply personal and transformative. While I am incredibly proud of what I’ve accomplished, it’s impossible to fully celebrate without reflecting on the road that led me here—a road that was often filled with pain, trauma, and uncertainty.

A Complicated Beginning: Ignite Life Pacific College

When I first started at Ignite Life Pacific College, I believed it would be a place of spiritual growth and connection. I had envisioned a tight-knit community where we could inspire and uplift one another under the guidance of strong, compassionate leadership. But that dream shattered quickly.

The President of the school, who should have been the person fostering unity and understanding, instead created an atmosphere of division and fear. He manipulated situations, turned students against one another, and mishandled leadership in ways that left many of us deeply wounded. It wasn’t just about poor leadership—it was spiritual abuse.

I vividly remember the days when his actions sowed seeds of distrust among students, pitting us against one another to maintain his control. It was emotionally exhausting, and the trauma left a lasting impact on my faith and my sense of safety within a church setting. He used his position to silence dissent and invalidate the experiences of those who sought help or clarity.

This environment didn’t just break my trust in him; it broke my trust in the church as a whole. I left Ignite Life Pacific College not only with an incomplete education but also with emotional scars that made stepping into any church feel unbearable. Even while working on assignments for my leadership classes at Life Pacific University, the thought of entering a church building would trigger waves of anxiety. My hands would shake, and my chest would tighten, all from memories of spiritual abuse and manipulation.

Finding Healing and the Strength to Keep Going

Leaving Ignite felt like a failure at the time, but looking back now, I see it as the beginning of my healing. Walking away from that toxic environment allowed me to slowly rebuild my faith, on my terms, and separate it from the harm that had been done. It wasn’t easy, and honestly, it still isn’t.

Every step of this academic journey has been layered with fear and hesitation. There were many nights I stayed up questioning whether I was even capable of leading others when my own faith felt fractured. The trauma made me doubt myself, my purpose, and my calling.

But I kept going. I chose to pursue my education at Life Pacific University because I believed in the power of growth and resilience. Leadership isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about learning, growing, and overcoming—even when it feels impossible. This program challenged me to step outside my comfort zone, confront my fears, and rediscover what leadership means to me.

Finishing My Bachelor’s Degree: A Moment of Triumph

Completing my bachelor’s degree has been a long time coming, and now that the finish line is here, I feel a mix of emotions—pride, relief, and gratitude. Life Pacific University gave me the tools I needed to grow as a leader, and I’m incredibly thankful for the professors, mentors, and peers who walked alongside me.

This milestone isn’t just a testament to my academic abilities; it’s proof of my perseverance. I pushed through the anxiety, the doubt, and the haunting memories from Ignite to build a new foundation for my future.

Now, as I prepare to begin my Master’s Degree in Business Administration at the same university, I feel ready to take on this next chapter. The MBA program will allow me to deepen my understanding of leadership and business, equipping me to make a meaningful impact in the professional world.

I won’t pretend that the anxiety is gone or that the memories don’t resurface, but I’ve learned to hold space for my healing while continuing to move forward. Each step, no matter how small, is a victory.

Three Days Away from Surgery: A New Chapter of Discipline

As if completing my bachelor’s degree wasn’t already a monumental achievement, I’m also just three days away from a life-changing surgery. After years of battling PCOS, endometriosis, and hormonal imbalances, I’ve decided to undergo weight-loss surgery. This decision wasn’t made lightly—it’s the result of a three-year journey of research, preparation, and determination to prioritize my long-term health.

Right now, I’m on the liquid diet phase of my pre-surgery preparation, and let me tell you—it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve faced countless challenges in my life, from overcoming trauma to rebuilding my confidence, but this level of discipline is testing me in ways I never expected.

The liquid diet feels isolating at times. While others enjoy meals with friends and family, I’m sipping on protein shakes and clear broths. It’s a constant reminder of the sacrifices I’m making for my health, but it’s also an opportunity to practice patience and self-control.

There are moments when I feel like giving up, moments when the hunger or cravings feel overwhelming. But then I remind myself why I’m doing this. This isn’t just about losing weight—it’s about reclaiming my life. It’s about giving myself the chance to thrive, to move freely, and to live without the physical limitations that have held me back for so long.

Being Honest About the Struggle

I want to be completely transparent: this journey is not glamorous. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and emotionally draining. There are days when I cry out of frustration, days when I feel like I’m failing, and days when the finish line feels impossibly far away.

But through it all, I’ve learned to lean into the discomfort. Growth doesn’t happen in comfort zones—it happens when we push ourselves, even when it hurts. The liquid diet is a small taste of the discipline and resilience I’ll need after surgery, and I’m choosing to embrace it as part of the process.

Looking Ahead: A Future of Possibility

As I sit here, three days away from surgery and with my bachelor’s degree in hand, I feel a sense of hope that I haven’t felt in a long time. This journey has been anything but easy, but every challenge has shaped me into the person I am today—a person who is stronger, wiser, and more determined than ever.

The next chapter of my life will be filled with new challenges: adjusting to life after surgery, tackling an MBA program, and continuing to heal from the wounds of my past. But for the first time in a long time, I feel ready to face it all.

I’m stepping into this new season with a sense of purpose and clarity. My experiences—both the painful and the triumphant—have given me a unique perspective on leadership, resilience, and the power of transformation. I’m not just surviving anymore; I’m thriving.

To anyone reading this who feels stuck in their own struggles, know that it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Healing, growth, and success aren’t linear—they’re messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal. But every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory.

I’m living proof that it’s possible to overcome the darkest seasons of life and come out stronger on the other side. And while the road ahead may still be challenging, I know that I have the strength, discipline, and resilience to keep moving forward.

Here’s to new beginnings, continued growth, and the courage to keep fighting for the life I deserve. Thank you for being a part of my journey—I can’t wait to see where it takes me next.

Remember to embrace the growth no matter the struggle.

Until next time,

Kaylee