Growth Beyond Obstacles

If I could sit across from my 18-year-old self—the girl who smiled on the outside but carried questions she didn’t know how to ask—I’d hold her hand and whisper, “You’re going to make it, and one day you’ll be so proud of who you’ve become.”

It’s been thirteen years since my senior year of high school, I was ready to take on the world, though I didn’t even know who I was yet. I thought adulthood meant having everything figured out by twenty-five: the career, the house, the family, the perfect version of me. What I didn’t know was that life would rewrite the script—again and again—and in the rewriting, I’d find who I truly was.

Looking back, here’s what I’d tell that girl who was scared, curious, and trying so hard to prove she was enough.

1. You Don’t Have to Have It All Figured Out

At eighteen, you believed life came with a blueprint. College, job, marriage, stability—if you followed the steps, everything would make sense. But life doesn’t work like that, and it’s okay that it doesn’t.

You’ll take paths that don’t make sense to anyone else. You’ll stay at jobs longer than you should because you’re afraid of change. You’ll say yes to people who only drain you, thinking love means sacrifice. You’ll chase perfection until it leaves you exhausted.

But eventually, you’ll realize that purpose isn’t found in perfection—it’s found in persistence. Every detour, every unexpected turn, every failure will teach you something that success never could.

One day, you’ll understand that the “figuring it out” part is lifelong. It’s not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign that you’re still growing.

2. Healing Takes Time, and It’s Never Linear

You’ll spend years trying to run from the pain. You’ll bury your hurt under busyness and call it productivity. You’ll think healing means moving on, but you’ll learn that healing actually means slowing down and looking at what broke you.

There will be moments when you’ll feel like you’re back at square one—when the old memories resurface, when you question your worth, when you wonder if you’ll ever fully be “okay.” But healing isn’t a straight line; it’s a spiral. Each time you return to the wound, you’ll come back stronger and wiser.

Therapy will become a safe space. You’ll cry, you’ll release, and you’ll finally understand that asking for help isn’t weakness—it’s courage. You’ll learn to breathe again, to trust again, to live without apologizing for taking up space.

And one day, you’ll look at the woman in the mirror and realize: she’s not broken—she’s becoming whole.

3. You Are Allowed to Change

There was a time you clung to consistency like a lifeline. You feared that changing meant betraying who you were. But the truth? Growth requires change.

You’ll outgrow friendships that once felt like family. You’ll walk away from jobs that once felt like dreams. You’ll shed versions of yourself that no longer fit. You’ll learn that evolution isn’t betrayal—it’s survival.

When you begin your health journey—when you make the decision to have weight loss surgery, when you commit to walking your first 5K, when you decide to rebuild your life from the inside out—you’ll realize that change isn’t just physical. It’s spiritual, emotional, and deeply personal.

Every step forward will be a declaration: I’m not who I used to be, and that’s okay.

4. Don’t Mistake Being Needed for Being Valued

You’ve always had a big heart. You’ll bend over backward to help others, believing that if you give enough, they’ll love you the same way. But there’s a difference between being needed and being valued.

You’ll work in places that take advantage of your kindness. You’ll stay in relationships where you’re pouring from an empty cup. You’ll confuse busyness for purpose. But eventually, you’ll learn that peace isn’t found in pleasing others—it’s found in honoring yourself.

You’ll start setting boundaries that once felt impossible. You’ll learn that saying “no” doesn’t make you difficult; it makes you healthy. You’ll stop chasing validation and start choosing alignment.

And in that space, you’ll find freedom—the kind that allows you to love others without losing yourself.

5. Take Care of Your Body Early

At eighteen, you didn’t think much about your health. You skipped meals, ignored exhaustion, and thought energy drinks were food groups. You didn’t yet understand that your body was crying out for care, not control.

Years later, when your body began showing signs of struggle—when the pain, fatigue, and hormonal challenges became too heavy to ignore—you decided to do something that changed your life: you chose you.

You’ll remember the moment you were approved for surgery. The nerves, the fear, the hope. You’ll remember the first time you looked in the mirror and saw not just a smaller body, but a stronger spirit.

You’ll learn that taking care of your body isn’t vanity—it’s gratitude. You’ll fall in love with walking, running, moving freely. You’ll learn how to fuel yourself with kindness instead of punishment.

And one day, you’ll stand at the finish line of your first 5K, tears in your eyes, realizing that this body—your body—carried you through everything that tried to break you.

6. Love Will Find You When You Find You

At eighteen, you’ll think love means sacrifice. You’ll believe that if you just love hard enough, you can make people stay. You’ll give and give until you forget your own worth.

But real love doesn’t ask you to shrink. Real love meets you where you are and grows with you.

When you meet him—your fiancé, your partner, your safe place—you’ll realize that love doesn’t have to be dramatic to be real. It can be calm, patient, and grounding. You’ll see that love isn’t about fixing each other; it’s about building something healthy together.

He’ll stand beside you through surgeries, sleepless nights, career shifts, and personal growth. He’ll remind you that you’re more than enough, even on the days you forget.

You’ll look back and realize that the love you always wanted found you the moment you started loving yourself first.

7. You Are Not Behind

There will be days when you’ll scroll through social media and compare your journey to everyone else’s. You’ll see friends buying homes, starting families, landing dream jobs—and you’ll wonder if you missed your chance.

You didn’t.

You’re right where you’re supposed to be. Life isn’t a race; it’s a rhythm. Some seasons will be slow and quiet; others will move so fast you’ll barely catch your breath. But every season has purpose.

You’ll graduate later than you planned. You’ll switch careers more than once. You’ll take breaks when your body and mind need rest. And when you walk across that stage for your bachelor’s degree—and later, your MBA—you’ll realize that timing doesn’t define you. Perseverance does.

The world measures success in milestones. But you’ll learn to measure it in growth, peace, and joy.

8. The Past Doesn’t Define You

You’ll carry scars—some visible, some hidden. You’ll face trauma from places that were supposed to be safe. You’ll question your faith, your worth, and your purpose.

But one day, you’ll return to those memories not with anger, but with compassion. You’ll realize that the girl who survived all that deserves celebration, not shame.

Your past shaped you, but it doesn’t limit you. You’ll build a life filled with meaning—writing, leading, inspiring others to rise above their own pain. You’ll take the pieces of your story and turn them into something beautiful: Growth Beyond Obstacles.

You’ll remind people that redemption isn’t found in forgetting the past—it’s found in rewriting how it ends.

9. You’ll Learn That Peace Is Priceless

You’ll chase stability for years, thinking that success will bring peace. You’ll work long hours, juggle multiple jobs, and tell yourself that burnout is just part of being ambitious.

But peace isn’t found in busyness—it’s found in balance.

You’ll learn to slow down, to sit in silence, to enjoy coffee on a quiet morning without guilt. You’ll learn to say, “I don’t have to prove anything today.”

You’ll discover that success without peace isn’t success at all. The most beautiful moments will come not from achieving more, but from being present with what you already have.

10. You’ll Become the Woman You Needed

If I could show my 18-year-old self who I am today—the woman who has walked through fire and come out softer, stronger, and freer—I know she’d cry.

Not because she’d be sad, but because she’d be proud.

She’d see a woman who didn’t let pain define her. Who chose healing over bitterness. Who built a career in the medical field, earned her degree, chased her dreams, fell in love, and rebuilt her life from the ground up.

She’d see a woman who learned that faith and resilience can coexist with doubt. Who found joy again. Who isn’t afraid to take up space or speak her truth.

And she’d see that every storm she thought would destroy her was really preparing her for the sunlight that came after.

Final Reflection

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in thirteen years, it’s this: life isn’t about reaching a destination—it’s about becoming who you were meant to be along the way.

Every version of you deserves grace. The one who struggled. The one who hoped. The one who healed.

And maybe, just maybe, the greatest lesson is that the person you were becoming all along was never someone else—it was you.

“Growth isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about returning to yourself.”